


Adapting

by MnMJax



Category: Halo (Video Games) & Related Fandoms
Genre: Awkward Kissing, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, First Kiss, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, a little bit???, mild implied depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-07-26 20:59:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7590094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MnMJax/pseuds/MnMJax
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Since being reassigned to the Infinity, sometimes John has good days, and sometimes he has bad days. This is one of the better bad days. Tom tries to be there for him in whatever way he can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Adapting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PolarGrizz47](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PolarGrizz47/gifts).



> so i had this idea for the last few days, wasn't able to write it because i've been sick as all hell tbh, but now i'm better and got distracted working on my soulmate au so I figured why the hell not?

“John? You doing okay?”

Wasn't that a loaded question. Physically he was fine, anything else - psychologically? - he wasn't so sure.

“I–... I don’t...” _I have no idea what I’m doing_ . His world had been training, learning to _kill_ , being a Spartan, for nearly as long as he could remember. But after thirty-odd years of active service, going from battle to battle since the war with the Covenant had kicked off, being told he was being permanently assigned to the _Infinity_ on the hunt for Forerunner artifacts was more than a little jarring.

He didn’t have to live and breathe in the Mjolnir armour, slept in assigned quarters rather than jumping into Cryo between fights. He trained with the Spartan IVs, even called some of them friends after a time, but he still felt... lost.

There were days that were easier than others – where he could almost convince himself that he was like the rest of them, that he’d had a somewhat normal life before he’d become a Spartan. Today was not one of those days.

It felt like admitting to weakness, this difficulty adapting, were he to say something. He understood battlefield tactics, thinking on the fly as the situation changed, but nothing like this. This _calm_... he wasn’t used to it.

“John?” the voice was accompanied by a smaller hand sliding into his, another coming to rest on the opposite shoulder – impossible, were he not sitting down.

Out of everyone aboard the _Infinity_ , its Captain understood him more than anyone. He’d found an unexpected comfort in Captain Lasky, after the loss of Cortana and his public return from the dead. Tom had been a guiding anchor while he’d been initially floundering upon his reassignment. They’d only been friends to begin with, then blundering through stilted confessions of attraction upwards of six months of knowing each other.

John still had bad days, even after all that, and Tom was there for all of them when he could be.

For all that, John owed him at least an explanation, didn’t he?

“...I’m... not sure what to do with myself.” the admission was difficult, forced. He’d never actually _told_ Tom what he was thinking on days like today. The older man was content enough to just be there for him, he never pried. Maybe he’d known John would open up given time, or he really was content just to hold him, knowing even just his presence was enough. John wasn’t sure.

Whatever the case, he pressed on, calloused hand holding Tom’s tighter. “Since the war began, there wasn’t much time for Spartans to just... _be_. There was always a fight somewhere. With my permanent assignment here–” for all that it was a formality. For all intents and purposes, the Master Chief was retired. “–I’ve been... at a loss.”

That was to say nothing of the still-acute grief following Cortana’s death, on top of everything else.

Tom was silent for a long moment, contemplating his response. “I think, the best you can do – the best anyone could do, in your position – is to take it a day at a time. I’m sorry I can’t give any better advice. Just know however long it takes... I’ll be with you.”

The words, like the man himself, seemed to cut through the shroud of uncertainty that clung to him, giving John another anchor. A promise. That was something he could work with

Using their joined hands as leverage, John pulled Tom closer over him, closing his eyes and pressing their foreheads together. His free hand reached behind to rest a hand on the other’s neck, beneath the neural lace. He allowed himself to truly feel it all, their breath mingling in the air between them, the heartbeat he could feel pulsing beneath his fingers, and the warmth of Tom’s skin on his. The feeling of closeness, it was something he was still getting used to. He couldn't say he didn't enjoy it, but this night there was something niggling at the back of his mind. Not that it wasn't _enough_ , it was just...

He wanted to try something new.

Hesitantly, John allowed his head to tip back, leaning forward at the same moment until his lips brushed softly over Tom’s. Chaste was all he could really manage, though he'd seen marines reunited with their significant others - he had _some_ idea of how to make a kiss more passionate, though putting it into practice was something else entirely. The residual sensation felt like a buzzing, or a tingling over his lips. He wasn't sure what to make of it, but he didn't dislike it. He’d never kissed or been kissed, though this he felt hardly counted.

He felt more than heard the startled breath Tom drew through his nose, hardly had time to think he’d perhaps made a mistake, maybe misjudged Tom's signals, before the Captain soundly proved him wrong.

The execution may not have been perfect – not that John knew what a ‘perfect’ kiss was supposed to be like – but the sensation was stunning nonetheless. When Tom pulled back to take a breath, he admitted again, “I don’t know what I’m doing.” Less a difficult admission, more a request this time.

With a huff of breathless laughter, Tom responded, “Just follow my lead, Chief.”

There was something to be said for trying new things, when you had an experienced partner to help you along.

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be mostly fluff and cuddles, all that cute shit, until my brain remembered that I'm really bad at writing fluff, so there's a fair bit of emotional stuff in here as well. Besides that it's also really easy to write angsty stuff about John tbh. There's a lot of material to work with. 
> 
> 343 leave jawn alone let him retire already ffs
> 
> On a more serious note, It's like 2 AM right now so I don't actually know how well this all flows together, it kind of feels like it jumped from hurt-comfort to kissing, so I mean I might re-read this tomorrow and cringe for all I know, but either way I hope you liked it! (Especially you, Polar~)
> 
> Edit** It's not cringey like I expected!


End file.
